Talk:Audrey/@comment-202.62.16.213-20180322110537

Me: Audrey, I made you a Sub sandwich. Eat it!

Audrey: No.

Me: Okay, just half.

Audrey: No.

Me: A quarter?

Audrey: No.

Me: One bite?

Audrey: No.

Me: Just smell it.

Audrey: If I didn't want it out there, what makes you think I'd find it more appealing in here?!

Me: Come on, Audrey.

Audrey: No.

Me: One bite.

Audrey: No...

Me: You won't be sorry.

Audrey: No!

Me: It's delicious...

Audrey: Listen, how long are you prepared to keep this up? (I handcuffed myself to Audrey. Audrey takes the sandwich) Give me that! When I die...you stay away from my funeral. (looks at the sandwich) Ohh... do I really...

Me: Ahhhhh... (Audrey opens her mouth) Eeeeee.... Oooooh-oooooh-oooh... (Audrey takes a tiny bite of the Sandwich and smiles. My eyes turns into hearts)

Audrey: Why... this Sandwich may be the most... (suddenly angry) Horrible! Putrid! Poorly prepared! Vile! (My eyes turn into atomic explosions) Unappetizing! Disgusting excuse for a sandwich, that has ever been my displeasure to have slither down my throat!

Me: But—

Audrey: (throws the sandwich on the ground and stomps on it) And I curse this Sandwich, to an early and well-deserved grave! (puts a tombstone on top of the sandwich with 'R.I.P.' on it) Get it?

Me: But, it doesn't make any sense. The Sandwich is an absolute good. Nobody is immune to its tasty charms.

Audrey: Nobody but me.

Me: Are you sure?

Audrey: Does this look unsure to you? (close-up of Audrey's angry face)

Me: No.

Audrey: Good! Now go spread the word!